Materialism

I consider myself a minimalist. I'm not sure if that is a real word, I'm not sure if other people consider themselves such, but that's what I consider myself. What this means is that I don't own things that don't have a use. I don't like having things kicking around that are just for show or serve no purpose.
It's amazing how many people are materialistic and it always amazes me how they just don't see how superficial that is. There are people all over this country who go into debt and for what? For show.
I have some examples. Someone I know got married last year. When she was first engaged, she was running around bragging about her diamond ring, that had one huge rock and two smaller ones next to it on white gold. All of her friends were "ooooh la la" about it and I just sat there, trying to bite my tongue. I think I may have complimented it (which was not my real will to be honest) just to appease her. Anyway, all of her friends felt that she had the best fiance in the world, I mean, how could he spend ALL of that money on her! She must be so damned special. Two years have passed, they are married now and guess what happened? She lost that ring and her wedding bands that each had like 9 small diamonds on them. No big deal right? Except - her husband never got insurence for the rings and they aren't even paid off! Buying these expensive rings for show and then losing them, it seems all for nothing to me.
The older I get and the longer I go without conforming to the whole idea of marriage, the more I realize how it's based around being materialistic and well, superficial. My friend was more obsessed with how big her boobs would look and how sexy she would be for her wedding than how well the marriage would work out. It certainly drove me nuts but what could I do? I don't run around preaching to people and I know that very few people truely understand my perspective. It woulda been like talking to a wall, I'm sure of it.
I'm not saying there is no merit to the idea of marriage but does it really change things? Or does it change things for the better at all? It seems to me that most of the people who get married end up having unrealistic expectations of each other. For example - all of a sudden, they expect their partner to change, just because they are married. All of a sudden it's a huge deal with the husband goes out for a drink with his friends or the girl goes out with hers. This is exactly how it is with my friend and her husband. If I hang out with her and we want to go have a few beers at the bar, he's totally against it (of course, it's okay for HIM to go out to the bars, go figure). I think when people get married they have higher expectations of the fairy tale ending and rarely does that actually happen. Certainly - I'll be just as devistated if what I got doesn't work out BUT I think that when people get married they have the expectation that it will or has to last forever. Even knowing that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, people still think that marriage will seal the deal. That expectation is still there, no matter how unrealistic it is.
Because of that expectation, I think that there is a lot more dissapointment than say if someone is just living with their boyfriend and things don't work out. For some reason, the big to do, the rings and all of the guests and their gifts make the break-up that much harder. Of course I've never been married, so maybe it is no worse than just breaking up.
Anyway, I think I went off on a tangent there. Oops :P
What I was getting at is that even marriage seems to be based around materialism or some kind of facade that is mostly ideal, and little to do with reality. I could pinch pennies and buy a Gucci bag but I'd still be poor. And that's what I've seen happen with my friend - she wanted so much, this facade and now it seems to be crashing down all around her. Her and her husband are constantly arguing about money. He thinks she's so bad for losing those rings, yet he has a 25 thousand dollar truck sitting in the garage that he can't even afford to fuel and is too stubborn to let go... Why won't he let it go? The freaking image. It's not serving any purpose there, it's not helping the environment when they actually do use it, it hasn't even been used for the purposes it should be used for (construction, moving things etc).
99% of the people driving around in pick-up trucks, SUVs and Vans have no real reason for doing so. All it does is eat away at their paycheck at the pump and cause more stress and anxiety. I guess I never understood why the image is more important than the anxiety. I remember my friend and her husband were picking on my boyfriend because he gave me $100 bucks towards a bill for valentines day... they were all, "Oh, how romantic and blah blah blah." I kept my tongue but I couldn't help but think to myself - you guys are so incredibly stupid. Besides, why try and force my boyfriend into be romantic if he doesn't want to be? Does that facade really make me feel any better? Sure, I might have looked better in materialistic people's eyes because I had a boyfriend who wanted to buy me expensive jewlry to express his undying love for me BUT I know how unreal that is. I know that my man would rather use that money towards a vacation or a downpayment on a house than to spend it on something that serves absolutely no purpose.
So here they are - married, horrible credit, living in a rented house that they can't afford (and yep, they have roommates in order to pay for "keeping up with appearences") - trying at every opportunity to make me feel like my boyfriend loves me less because he doesn't fall for such petty BS.
Materialism is such an intrusion on those of us who could give a shit less. Materialistic people just assume that everyone is going to perceive and think as they do and would probably go to great lengths to defend such behaviors. Like when my friend is shuving her ring in my face going "look at how much it sparkles, oooooh aaaaaah" - how does she know that I give a shit? How is it that she assumes that I would find any importance in it? It would sort of be like me showing off my new skateboard, when she doesn't skateboard. The major difference being that a skateboard actually serves a purpose, whereas rings serve none.
It's not that I object to the symbolism of a ring - I understand that a ring has no ending, I understand why that would fit in well with the vowe but do people really need to spend $10,000 before interest on one? Wouldn't a sterling silver rings serve the same purpose?