Did you hear? You have to be FAKE to be Feminine

http://microkiniblog.blogspot.com/2008/05/thongs-crop-tops-sexiness-and-feminism.html

Okay, so I came accross this blog and I was completely horrified. I definitely think that people who blog should have to get a license first because this article is complete CRAP. It is the most unintelligent blog I have read in a while.
So I'm going to pull up a few quotes and then analyze why I think this person made them.

She's got a point, you know. And let's talk seriously now about "castrating" men. Maybe this whole lecturing, pedantic, anti-sexual feministic ideal with the hardline feminists (or feminazis, as I think they should be called) did a lot more damage to relationships between men and women.

How does accepting women as they ARE castrate men (not how fake they can be)? The only men who feel threatened by women who are strong and are willing to not conform are men who are extremely insecure and usually very homophobic. The reality is that feminism makes it possible for men to express their feminine side without being called gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay but I'm so tired of people pointing fingers at people like that when a feminine guy isn't necessarily gay, just like some lesbians are really feminine. Shit, most of the feminine straight guys I know are the best fathers, treat their wives the best and lose the least interest in the bedroom with their wives or girlfriends. The most feminine guys I know, are actually the most real and the most down to earth. Why is that? Well I think it's because rather than setting their appearences to standards set by society and conforming - they take into life their own perspective and they are secure with themselves because they realize a lot of stereotypes and generalizations about feminine men are bunk. They are less critical about the women they date because they know how it feels to be treated like less of a man, simply because they prefer to sit with their legs crossed.
I haven't known a feminist that was against sex. That is also one of the most rediculous comments I have ever heard. There are a lot of women who express themselves as generically sexy who actually don't like sex or are sexually disfunctional. A lot of women who work in porn actually don't find pleasure in the act of having sex - they find more pleasure in their "fame" and the attention they get. For me - sex isn't about acting, it's about doing. I think that a lot of things and in around porn are actually anti-sexual. And porn sets up this standard that only brainwashed women and men would follow. I mention porn because I feel as though it has infiltrated popular culture and now, rather than women working on their brains, they seem to be working harder towards purchasing a new set of plastic boobs. Porn is anything BUT freedom of sexual expression. I mean, all porn is the same. Just like all women who express their sexuality via clothing typically dress the same. It's not freedom if people are cloning each other.
The only type of men who feel insecure about me not being about fashion and make-up are men who actually are insecure to begin with and are only looking for a sexy girl to have hanging off of their arm to show off to all of their friends to make them jealous. Any man who needs a make-up wearing, highHELL wearing, skirt wearing Girl is a man who isn't dating a girl for who she is but for how she looks and that can only be reduced to that man attempting to create a false illusion of his masculinity. Men who are really secure are not put off by women who are strong and who can think beyond cultural norms and fitting in.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOES CASTRATE MEN? The assumption most women make that they want a superficial girl. I think it is so messed up that women make these assumptions. ALL through highschool and college my female friends who were trendy would always pressure me into wearing make-up and "skanky" clothes (their word, not mine). They claimed that more guys would be interested in me and that I'd get more free drinks. THEY WERE WRONG. The times that I went to the bar in my usual hoodie and baggy pants - more guys talked to me and bought me drinks (I think too because if you don't come off as high maintenence - you become more appealing, no guy wants to date a girl that will expect a huge rock when they get married and lets be real about it - A LOT of men like some things being left to the imagination - it's much more tantalizing that way). One guy fell head over heels for me at the bar once (I didn't go home with him or anything - so it wasn't the good sex I'm able to provide). He picked me out of all the trendy girls at that bar and oddly enough - he was also trendy (which is why I was put off by him, I admit). The truth is - a lot of men still approached me at the bars and clubs. Not all men are into the plastic, generic MTV look.
In fact - when looking to be in a serious relationship - most men are going to turn to a girl like me - over the girl with her ass cheeks hanging out. There is no mystery to that either. Obviously if a girl has to go to the club in a mini skirt that leaves nothing to the imagination, she's probably looking for attention from anyone she can get it from (that includes the sneers she might get from other women - she she can claim they are jealous - even though most of them just think it's trashy). I've noticed that the more generically sexy a woman dressed (and I mean raunchy too) the more she's obsessed with getting attention from every man she can. Many women in my life have proved this over and over again. I know it's a stereotype and I realize that one size doesn't fit all but in general, this is a pretty easy equation to follow. I can tell by how a woman is dressed whether she's attention obsessed and needs to be the center of attention all the time. I can tell instantly by how a woman behaves, what her intentions are with me or with my boyfriend.
The sad trick is that a lot of the women who do this - aren't even into having sex or can't have orgasms... Don't believe me? Well I've known some of them. By looking at these women - most guys (and girls) would think they were sexual divas, up for anything, down with going down but that is simply NOT always TRUE. A lot of women who dress scantily actually do not like sex and would prefer getting attention over actual sex. Just like most feminists are not sex-haters or opposed to the pleasure of actually having sex (although - just like in the superficial group, there are feminists who have issues with sex as well). EIther way - appearence/lables are not good indicators of whether or not a woman enjoys having sex.
One big problem is that a lot of women and men think that porn = sex. They think clothes = sex but the only thing that equals sex IS sex. You can't replace it with a 2 dimensional screen. You can't replace actual sex with sexy clothing. That doesn't even make sense. I can figure out the intelligence of the author of this blog because she clearly thinks that sexy clothing = sex. Because what Arial Levy is pointing out is the problems with this false sexual expression, she's not talking about how sex is undesireable and something women should avoid. There is NOTHING in her book or her discussions that even suggests this sentiment. And anyone who uses that argument against her is simply trying to deflect the truth.
And that's another thing - one of the things she quotes reads like this:

It has always been like this, and it always will be, because men's achilles heel is that they go to pieces when a woman drops her top. Old-style feminists never understood this. - Belle

Am I the only woman that sees how wrong this is on ALL levels? First of all, what makes this quote really ignorant is that it assumes 1. ALL men like women. 2. ALL men are into breasts. 3. The assumption that men are powerless around naked women.
It really bothers me that women think that their bodies have this kind of control and power(ick on all levels). I think that it is demasculating and insulting to the intelligence of men. If anything, views like this are castrating to men. The truth is - Not all men are pigs who think with their dicks before their minds. There are men who see a woman behaving like this for what it is - insecurity. When women feel the need to get approval from men all the time, they are insecure. I don't need approval from men all the time because I'm already proud of myself. I don't need the approval of others to be happy with myself - unlike mainstream American women and men. Women can argue against what I have just said all they want but I have male friends who make fun of make-up and plastic looking women. Sure, they might not do it around women who do wear make-up because they really don't want to offend people (like me) but they really do think how women behave and conform is rediculous and weak. The other thing is that women assume that if a man looks at them - they are automatically undressing them in their head and I think that's also demasculating. I'm not wanting every guy I look at - there are even times I'm making fun of them in my own head (like if he has his hat tilted to the side and is walking with a limp). I remember Tyra Banks once mentioned that guys always check out the girls with make-up on but what she doesn't realize is that a lot of men check out those girls because they know that those girls are more insecure and probably more willing to do things they don't want to do, for approval AND sometimes men look at women with caked on make-up and think they are superficial and are picking on them in their minds - as I do with the guy who isnt hurt but walks with a limp.

Men are great at working together; they are self-congratulatory and supportive. We are not. That is our true weakness, and feminism exemplifies this flaw - witness the countless factions, all fighting for different things, from sex-positive feminists, who believe nudity is OK, to third-wave feminists, who think eyeliner is misogynistic.

This quote is a HUGE cop-out. This is what women pull out of their bums when they are unwilling to confront gender standards (especially hetero ones). Instead of looking at their own hand in the cattiness - their attempts to look hotter than every other woman. Most old time feminists were all about nudity (for example - in Brattleboro VT - women in the 70's walked around shirtless until they made nudity legal) - I find it hilarious that this person thinks that if a feminist hates mini-skirts and eyeliner that they think nudity is wrong. Actually - the naked human body is natural and therefor - I'm not opposed to nudity. I think that if nudity were made legal - less women would feel the need to wear push-up bras and thongs that just look distasteful and uncomfortable and thus - very petty. I'm actually very self-congratulatory - much more than most women. Why is that? Because I accept myself as I am, rather than conforming to gender standards and calling them sex. I am self-congratulatory because I accept my flaws and call them beautiful rather than trying to cover them up and deceive everyone. I embrace myself as a woman AS I AM - not as how society expects me to be. THAT makes my motives completely selfish and self-congratulatory. I'm unwilling to harm myself for the acceptence of others and I don't care what other women tell me - that makes me a better woman, that makes me embrace TRUE FEMININITY.

But even if you wear naughty lingerie for you, for no other reason than it makes you feel good, that is reason enough to keep it on. True feminism should celebrate femininity, and make you feel wonderful to be born a woman.

Oh and it strikes again. AGAIN another stupid woman (Bell) arguing that sexy underwear is celebrating femininity. I wonder what women like this would celebrate if human beings were stripped of all clothing....Their saggy breasts? And my problem with this quote, isn't that they are telling women to be free to do what they want (which I agree with 100%) it's the type of example she chose... It wasn't "if women feel like embracing their feminity and it makes them happy to NOT wear make-up or thongs etc" - it was a positive agrument FOR wearing underwear (as if women in society need anymore permission - how about helpig the women who struggle AGAINST these standards, who need it much more) that society finds sexy (I honestly find nothing sexy about underwear that causes yeast infections, but that's just my opinion). Which is fine but it's this assumption that if a woman like me points out all the things wrong with every non-human thing women find "feminine" she is attempting to tell women what to and what not to do.
The reality is that Ariel Levy NEVER talks about how women can't wear make-up and be feminists - what she is purely doing is attempting to get women to think about it more and think more about what they are saying when they call lacy underwear feminine. WHY is that kind of underwear feminine and who decided? If that underwear never existed, no woman would decide, randomly to make it and call it "sexy." There is something in society that TOLD this woman it was sexy and I have a feeling it has everything to do with all of the advertisments/media that make women believe this falsity. This is the question she is only daring women to address.
The sad thing is that most women react the same way this blogger does. Rather than honestly reflecting about their behaviors and ways of life - they simply attack the person who is posing the question and getting them to really think about it. And I mean - I sort of understand how someone would feel that Ariel Levy is attacking everything about their life but that isn't really the case.
I think part of the problem is that women don't want to admit that half of the shit they do is superficial. That they aren't presenting themselves as they REALLY look. No women want to admit that by covering themselves up (via make-up), adorning themselves and distorting their bodies that they are actually, TRUELY and HONESTLY denouncing the true feminine.

Yes, it is! I've had some hardline feminists at work try to lecture me about the fact I wear thongs and microkinis on the beach - the same old, past their sell-by date, arguments about how I succumb to the chauvinistic ideal that sees women as sex objects and not as human beings. Of course, these hardline feminists haven't done a single thing to help a female colleague and protect her against discrimination of any kind.

That's the thing that really irritates me too about this blogger. She says that feminists have done nothing to help female colleagues against discrimination but what the HELL has SHE done? Other than reduce all feminists who see gender roles as bullshit to hairy, anti-sexual fatties (as she does in the quote below). Like seriously - this bimbo (sorry, this is out of anger at this point) is the one who isn't helping by simply saying fake = feminine. By telling women they have to be fake and provocative to be feminine - she is basically saying that you have to be ONE way in order to be feminine, that by not shaving, you are not feminine - even if many of your personality traits are more feminine (like crying when angry - rather than yelling). And that's the irritation I have for women like this - one size does not fit all in terms of what is feminine or in terms of what is masculine. People have differing opinions about this and clearly - she is the one who is closed minded - not Ariel Levy.

they're only good at being pedantic, sex-fearing, idiotic little dictators that also "happen" to be fat, unwashed, hairy and rude to everyone that has the misfortune of crossing their path with theirs.

And this girl thinks she's above the type of feminists she's complaining about!!! She thinks she's better when she doesn't even ATTEMPT to ask herself why she is held hostage by such gender roles. And on top of that - RATHER than really taking a look at herself critically and being honest - she makes sweeping generalizations about feminists that ARE NOT TRUE. I mean, a generalization like that would be similar to be calling every girl wearing a microkini a whore or someone who wants to be raped. That is just not cool.
While I think that women wear such clothing to get attention - I would never say that she asked to be raped or abused. Clearly she wants men (or women, depending on her preference but because of how heterocentric her post was - I think it's safe to assume she's trying to attract men) to check her out - there is no other reason to wear such an uncomfortable peice of clothing.
Any of the times I wore make-up and so-called "sexy" clothing was to get men to check me out. I just eventually learned that those things were unnecessary to get men to check me out - that's the difference between me and 95% of the women in this society.

SO, to smash the generalization right now, Here is WHO I am:
I'm a feminist. I'm vegan. I'm incredibly skinny. I shower at least every other day (yep, that's right, I think it's a waste of water to shower everyday - unless I'm rolling in the mud or getting toxic chemicals all over my face). I enjoy and love having sex and I'm up for doing just about anything my boyfriend wants to do (other than anal). I shave. I occasionally wear a bra when I feel self-conscious about the company I will be around (believe it or not - many women wearing cleavage shirts with their boobs hanging halfway out of their shirts have given me dirty looks for having my nipples bling everywhere). I'm rude to only people who are disrespectful to me and that includes (but not limited to) - women who try to get my boyfriend's attention when he's clearly with me, men who catcall to me, women/men who try to force me into conforming to gender standards, people who try to tell me how to act, say or behave, people who are egocentric and think they deserve to be the center of attention all the time and people who are conceited. in general these are the things that will lead me to be rude to people most of the time. Because I can't respect anyone who is going to treat me with disrespect - bottom line. I've met too many women who were willing to be rude to me by batting their eyelashes at my boyfriend and I'm not going to be nice to them. I'm simply not going to enable them, if I'm nice to them - then I'm basically saying, "It's cool that you want to give my boyfriend a hard-on, even though you don't like him." which would be a freakin lie on my part!
So many women are competetive on this level and it drives me absolutely nuts and I think it's completely rude and narcissistic - which isn't a benefit to them in the long run. The truth is - I'm not threatened by women who try to get my boyfriend's attention - I just think it's really annoying. Compared to all of the women who have ever tried to get his attention - I'm a lot more intelligent, I'm stronger, I'm 99% of the time more in shape (so I could kick their asses if I had to), I have more abilities and interests - which helps me keep my man, even if he does look at wother women sometimes.